French Is the Language of Love

romantics everywhere idolize everything french, and so should you! learn a few of these phrases below, say them to a pretty lady, and watch your love life heat up.

Vos yeux sont plus beaux que les etoiles dans le ciel (your eyes are more beautiful than the stars in the sky)

Je t'adore (I love you)

Vous etes mon soleil apres il pleut (you are my sun after it rains)

Je pense que je tombe amoureux de vous (I think that I am falling in love with you)

Je te veux (I want you), je t'ai besoin de (I need you), oh bebe, oh bebe (oh baby, oh baby)

Mon penis est enorme (my johnson is huge)

J'adore vos chaussures, est-ce que vous voulez coucher avec moi? (nice shoes, wanna fuck?)

Vous deshabillez! (strip!)

C'etait coup de foudre (it was love at first sight)

So What Do Those Damn Roses Mean, Anyway?

Red - LOVE - they mean LOOOOOOVE (although they can also be used to express congraulations). Send them to someone you feel passionately about (i.e. send them to someone you want to nail/rock/do/boink/fuck)

White - Purity - the white rose conveys qualities of innocence and youthfullness, as well as spiritual love, reverence, loyalty, and humility. Have a crush, but want to save yourself till marriage? Send her white flowers, she'll get the message that you're a mama's boy ( I meant she'll get the message that you respect her).

Pink - Admiration - pink roses carry the ideas of gentleness, grace, elegance, and refinement. Enraptured by a girl who is the very definition of perfection? Tell her she's a goddess with a bouquet of pink roses.

Yellow - Friendship - want to show someone you appreciate and care for them, without any of those icky romantic feelings involved? Send her a bouquet of yellow roses. (The creator of this site does not in anyway endorse sending a girl yellow roses. Thats just mean, no one wants to hear, 'oh i love you, but i'm really interested in fucking someone else').

Orange - Desire - orange roses represent enthusiasm and fascination in addition to desire. Feeling extremely or especially horny one day? Send your significant other a bunch of orange roses, she'll get the message to pick up chocolate sauce and whipped cream on her way to your house.

Lavender - Enchantment - love at first sight? found your soulmate? think the woman in your life deserves to be treated like royalty (and we all do)? send her purple roses. Find yourself continually breaking up with and getting back together with the same girl? Get yourself a bouquet of lavender roses.

Whatever you do, please don't buy a girl a bouquet of roses, and then put a fake one in it with a note that says "I will love you till the last flower dies." Gag me. Get a clue, nothing says I will love you forever like a giant diamond from Tiffany's.

Dating Tips From the Creators of This Site

Having problems attracting girls? Try following these easy steps...

The Basics:

1) smell good, this might seem superficial, but actually its science 2) polo shirts are hot, so are button downs 3) wear sweaters (the gayer the better) 4) learn to play the guitar, piano is also acceptable 5) unless you're capable of growing a full beard, do not make pathetic attempts to have creative facial hair, shave EVERYDAY

Set Yourself Apart:

1) learn all the words to "The Way You Look Tonight" (we mean Frank Sinatra's version) 2) be able to quote "Clueless", "10 Things I Hate About You", "Pretty Woman", and "Moulin Rouge" 3) when the name John Mayer is mentioned, dont grimace and say "he's gay", say "i know all the words to 'your body is a wonderland', and i can play it on my guitar too!" 4) if you think she looks good in something, get some balls and tell her so 5) if by chance, you happen to see her in her pj's with no makeup on and bad hair, tell her you've never seen her look so sexy

Win Her Heart:

1) burn a cd with "Passenger Seat" by Stephen Speaks on it, then play it while she's sitting in the passenger seat of your car (learn all the words and sing along too) 2) if you're picking her up, don't honk, go up to the door and knock, then open the car door for her 3) don't send her flowers because its her birthday or your anniversary, send her flowers just because (you're 10x more likely to get laid) 4) in the car, let her pick the music, and don't complain about her choice 5) never tell her its ridiculous to go outside in those shoes or that outfit, tell her she looks lovely 6) serenade her as often as possible, even if you think you can't sing or you actually can't sing...